University is full of hundreds of thousands of moments and experiences- some of which will stick with you for the rest of your life. 

Some of the moments are huge. Your first day of walking into halls and that excited but juddery feeling; the first time leaving your university friends over summer and the feeling of excitement seeing them again; sitting in the dreaded exam hall, only to hold your breath months later whilst rapidly refreshing the results site. 

 But sometimes it’s the little moments. Battling around a wobbly table, desperately playing your next card to avoid having to take a drink; the little look over to a friend in the lecture hall when you have no idea what the lecturer is saying; just sitting in your kitchen chatting to your friends as they cook and catching up on the 3 hours you were apart. 

All that being said, there are definitely some moments you’d probably rather forget (or had decided you don’t remember for very good reason), but looking back on uni should overwhelmingly feel like warm and fuzzy nostalgia… mixed in with questioning how you even passed your degree.

But what would that nostalgia be without the people we meet along the way? Without forming bonds and creating memories with others, our hard times would be so much harder, our days would be so much duller, and our highs would be so much lower. Imagine a catastrophic night out and not having someone to debrief with or to fill in the blanks…

As humans, we need other people. We’re a tribal species who have always historically travelled in groups - and university is no different.

Asking people what they remember from their university experience will of course vary from person to person, but for this student story we’ll be focusing on Jenna*, a graduate from University of Reading after studying primary education with music specialism.

Jenna is an only child and she didn’t like school. She started university apprehensive about what she would find, ‘then suddenly was in a house of 6 girls doing drama every single day’. Jenna joined the drama society to make friends and a community who all share a common interest and passion. 

Starting university is a universally established nerve-wracking experience. I remember the abject terror of the start of university and the feeling that everyone had friends, and I was falling behind, but as Jenna said, ‘I don’t understand why someone wouldn’t join societies if they say they’re feeling lonely’. University can be a lonely place, especially with social media only showing the active and wonderful moments in everyone else’s life, and that feeling of isolation can be incapacitating, but in Jenna’s wise words, ‘if you have a specific interest and want to find people with that interest, join a society’.

According to the campaign to end loneliness [1], the rate of chronic loneliness has risen from 6% to 7.1% since 2020. In 2022, roughly 50% of adults report feeling lonely, ‘occasionally, sometimes, often or always’. And after university, you no longer have a city ,degree or a friendship group binding you - it can feel like you’re all drifting apart.

This is the key point for memories at uni: it’s the people you meet and the communities you build that will truly stick with you, and the stronger that tribe is, the easier it will be to enter the outside world. This isn’t to say your education isn’t important, it’s obviously one of the main reasons that you’re there, but while Jenna said, ‘my degree gave me loads of transferrable skills’, she also said, ‘all I think about from uni is the drama society’. 

University is so much more than just academia. It’s a community, a city, an amalgamation of experiences and excitement mixed in with hope and stress and everything in between. After asking Jenna what she’ll look back on from university, she said ‘other than the fact I met my husband at uni… it opened a lot of doors for me, and I don’t know where I’d be without it’. University offers a safe space where you can engage and take part in the world around you, in a place which not only allows you the time to explore, but it also actively encourages making the most of your opportunities. 

There’s a reason that social life, societies and nightlife are often major factors when people are choosing a university - this is where people find their tribes.

And this brings me back to Dès vu. You never know if the person you’re meeting will turn out to be a lifelong friend, a future partner or a funny story you and your friends tell for years to come. You never know whether a night out will end in a hangover or be your all-time favourite experience. You never know the significance of a moment until you’re not in it anymore:

You’re never going to wish you remembered the good times less, so enjoy every second of it. 

1. [https://www.campaigntoendloneliness.org/facts-and-statistics/],